On Slate, I recently emailed in a response explaining why I’m child-free. Well, they liked it and published it. (It also got picked up by ABC News too). Basically, I said being pregnant to me is like being host to a parasite and giving birth to an alien creature I don’t understand. I’ve never wanted to have kids, and I never will if it’s left entirely up to me.

Because I am bisexual, poly, and kinky, I rarely think of my aversion to having kids as the most controversial thing about me. But wow, at the responses. I got nearly 1,900 comments on the Slate article, and most of them were nasty. I even had Facebook friends being mean to me in comments when I posted the article on my page. I also got 2,000 Facebook likes and 31 tweets on the Slate article and even a few Facebook friends who liked my thoughts, so there was some love, but it completely shocked me how taken aback most people were by the essay.

I guess I struck some mother lionnesses’ (and a couple lions’) nerves. I called their sweet, precious babies names in their eyes. Okay, fine. But you’re missing my point.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me; in fact, I am glad that not everyone agrees with me. I mean, hello, I’m not stupid: In order for our species to survive, we have to procreate. Duh.

I was just sharing an opinion. Period. This is how I feel. And I wanted to share it. I wanted to reach out to a couple women who might feel similarly. I wanted them to know they weren’t alone. They were who I was talking to. Not the mamas and the daddys and the gonna-have-kids-somedays. Obviously, our views are different. But you know, that’s okay.

I have nothing against parents. I’m glad they’re around. I have parents whom I love. My fiancee is a parent; the girl I’m currently dating is a parent. I have many friends who are parents or want to be. But y’all have a skill I don’t want, just like I have life choices and freedoms that y’all don’t.

Maybe I am missing out on something. I think there is probably something transcendental about  being a parent, some part of your heart and mind that only being a parent touches. But I don’t feel like I’m missing out on my place in the world by deciding never to experience that. It’s not part of who I need to be to do what I need and want to do in my life. It does not make me less than you or better than you. It just makes me, me and you, you. And together we make the world whole. That’s how it should be; no nastiness needed.

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