So I was reading articles on Huffington Post. I read a lot of articles and blogs. Usually it’s no big thing, besides just making me think. But this time, I’m reading along calmly, and BAM! I’m QUOTED.


It was my child-free article on Slate. Boy, has that essay made an impact. I’m discussed on a Catholic forum, a blog, Twitter, and a pro-life site. And others of course. A lot of them assume that I’ve had an abortion or that I was abused, neither of which is true.

The HuffPo article I was reading was basically about respecting each other’s decisions. And I’m used as an example of people who aren’t tolerate of other people’s differences.

As a writer, this bothers me. I never meant for my essay to be judge-y. I totally recognize that we need parents in order for our species to function biologically. Being a parent is a huge responsibility, one that I have never looked at lightly, one that I even admire, but have just never wanted for myself.

I’ve had conversations like this many times:

“When are you having kids?”

“I don’t want to have kids.”

“Oh, c’mon, you’ve got to have kids. You can say that all you want, but it’ll happen one day.”

My point for the essay was for parents to acknowledge my choice like I’m forced to acknowledge theirs almost everyday. I wanted parents to stop assuming that I find their children and their pregnancy as amazing, wonderful, and adorable as they do. If I have to deal with their choice and get interrogated on a semi-regular basis, then they should have to deal with my choice. It’s only fair. Just because the parents might be in the majority doesn’t make their opinions or choices more valid. We’re all people with thoughts, feelings and opinions, and that’s okay. We can validate each other  and smile and wave from opposite sides of the fence.

And as usual, I also wanted to let other women who think like me know they aren’t alone. It can be very isolating to have such different views on what most people just find completely normal, and I don’t like thinking of anyone feeling lonely and cut off from the rest of us. I was hoping the awareness of other choices would keep parents from isolating women like me in conversation like the one above and in other ways too.

Granted, I guess I shouldn’t have used such strong words. But I had to get their attention somehow right? Plus, it’s honestly just how I think. I didn’t mean anything bad by it. In some ways, what I am forced to see on social media, blogs, TV, books, and advertisements everyday is just as disruptive to me as my words were to them.

On the other hand, even though I might’ve been misunderstood, my words are being spread, and that is never a bad thing for a writer. Plus it hasn’t all been bad. I did have an ABC News reporter interview me for a story. And in the Ester Bloom story, my article was quoted alongside Amanda Marcotte’s name. She’s the kind of person I don’t mind being mentioned with. Perhaps it’ll get me noticed by other writers and other news agencies.

All in a day’s work? A girl can hope.